Today I was inspired by the latest post, entitled “Be the Real Spiritual You”, at Lola Fayemi’s blog Nourishment for your Spiritual Awakening. (Thanks Lola).
I consider myself to be a spiritual student/seeker/being. More importantly I consider myself to be a “conscious” spiritual student, meaning that I now understand it to be the very foundation of WHO I am. I choose to focus energy on nurturing and developing in this area. It’s so clear to me that my ability to be happy, loving, productive and functional correlates directly with the amount of energy I put into my spiritual health. That being said, if you haven’t been living your life with this understanding, when you take it on you’re forced to rethink that whole “WHO AM I?” question. Take it from me; it can be really be challenging to reconcile whatever notions you used to have about who you are with the new spiritual notions of who you are – particularly if, like me, the whole “Who Am I?” thing has been kicking your butt for most (OK all…) of your lifetime. The spiritual component adds another sometimes perplexing layer to it.
There are so many assumptions placed on the word spirituality and even those of us who consider ourselves to be spiritual carry our own set of misconceptions, judgments and stereotypes about what spirituality looks like. This is what causes many of us to shy away from coming out of the “spiritual-closet” – as Lola put it so beautifully – when we become consciously spiritual because we’re afraid some of our family/friends/colleagues won’t get it and will think that we’ve lost our ever-loving minds.
Early on in my spiritual journey, I remember telling a friend that I’d started taking a basic meditation class at a local Buddhist Center. After 10 minutes of me excitedly telling him about it in great detail, he laughed and said “You have to pay someone to teach you how to sit still and close your eyes? That’s some kinda of BS”. After that I became very careful about who I shared the details of my spiritual life with. I also no longer spend time with that friend because his energy is so out of alignment with my own. This is not a judgment. It is what it is.
What Does a Spiritual Person Look Like?
When I first read Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Eat, Pray Love almost a year ago, one of the things I loved the most about it is how it debunks so many of the stereotypes that exist about what it “looks” like to live a spiritual life or be a spiritual person in these times.
Not long after I read the book, I attended a talk by one my favorite spiritual teachers, Marianne Williamson. I’d listened to countless dozens of her recorded talks, but had never seen her speak in person.
I was amazed (and not a little bit envious) when she stepped onto the stage in a FIERCE as in fabulous pair of black Christian Louboutin pumps. With their signature red bottomed soles, these are probably THE sexiest shoes on the planet! Shoenista that I am, I was deeply appreciative of their jaw-dropping fabulosity, but part of me was also really shocked that she would be wearing them. I had to ask myself why I was so surprised. Clearly there was some idea in my head about what kind of shoes a spiritual teacher should wear – and a sizzling hot pair of Christian Louboutin pumps was not it.
Upon further reflection it became apparent to me that I held some deeply embedded beliefs about what a female spiritual teacher ought to look like. I imagined she should wear robes. A habit perhaps. At the very least it seemed reasonable to expect that she be outfitted in a long, shapeless skirt, high-collared blouse and a pair of “sensible” shoes. Not a stylish pencil skirt and sexy pumps.
I was forced to hold my preconceptions up to the light and I realized just how meaningless and illogical they truly were.
It’s very easy, and patently unimaginative to paint an either or picture of, not just spiritual teachers, but spiritual people in general. Many of us labor under the delusion that living a spiritual life necessitates giving up all worldly pleasure. For years I was so terrified of becoming in any way spiritual or religious because I was convinced that I’d also have to become much less fun. Gone would be my days of wearing sexy shoes or sipping pretty-colored martinis out of sugar-rimmed glasses.
What I’ve learned however is that I’m not required to give up anything at all in order to live a spiritual life. Yes, since I’ve started living a more spiritually conscious life I’ve stopped doing a lot of things I used to enjoy – but that’s because I just don’t enjoy them anymore. In reality I’ve given nothing up. The beautiful irony of truly conscious spiritual life is that a bunch of stuff falls away because you no longer need it – not because someone says you should get rid of it. YOUR spirituality is what YOU want it to be.
I’m not discounting the possibility that someday I may decide that my spiritual practice must include foregoing the purchase of all fabulous shoes, but that day has yet to arrive. So in the meantime I’m coming out of the closet. Yes, I declare to the entire world that I am “SPIRITUAL”. I meditate. I pray. I read spiritual books, spend time in silence and all other kinds of touchy-feely, new agey, woo-woo stuff. However, until further notice I will also continue to buy fierce shoes and fabulous purses, occasionally drink red wine and French martinis with my girlfriends and sit down faithfully at 9pm EST every Monday to watch One Tree Hill. (Yeah, I said it!)
The bottom line is that our spiritual lives are as unique as our fingerprints. To think that we can look at someone and instantly judge their spirituality or lack thereof is not only ludicrous and devolved, it is the least spiritual thing I can imagine!
