We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
Marianne Williamson
A Return to Love

For months I’ve been working on launching the website for my consulting work. It is still semi-completed.

I originally planned to have it done before I started consulting in January,  but in all the hectic chaos of finishing up the last few months at my job it was impossible to find time.

Then I went away for a month to spend time with my family. My intentions to have it up in the first few weeks after my return had to be temporarily shelved when I returned from vacation to a flooded house and being temporarily homeless.

Another month was dedicated to finding a new place to live and salvaging my stuff.

Then I was moving in and organizing myself.

Then I started working. I was suddenly inundated by new clients and projects and I didn’t have time to work on it.

The past few weeks I’ve worked on it quite a bit, but I’ve been vacillating over design themes and colors and layouts and wording.

Yesterday one of my clients asked me for resume.  I haven’t updated it since the last time I interviewed for a job several years ago.

My heart sank as I pulled up the last version I could find and began to revise it.

It was agonizingly painful.  What to say about myself?

I was frustrated that I didn’t have more interesting things to say. Kept thinking I haven’t done enough. I don’t know enough. I’m not clever enough. Not talented enough.

Wait a minute! I stopped myself and thought about it. Really thought about it.

It’s not true. I know this. Really I do.

It occurred to me that this is what the hold up with completing the site has really been about. My being afraid to own my fabulosity and put it out there for all the world to see.

Why are we so afraid to shine?

In my heart I  know that I know a lot. I know that I am passionate and believe in what I’m doing. I know that I am learning and growing everyday and I know that I put my heart into doing the work I care about and believe in.

Above all, I know that as we all are, I am blessed with many talents and gifts.

I need to claim these gifts and talents, because until I do I can’t give them in service to the world.

That’s what they’re for after all. That’s why I am here. To give my gifts in service to the world.

Another reminder from the universe duly noted.

Let yourselves shine people. You are fabulous and gorgeous and talented. Own it and share it with the world. That’s what you’re here to do!

When I first moved to my new house several months ago, I was unfamiliar with the area. I didn’t have any preferences in terms of the businesses I frequent. I didn’t have a favorite place to get coffee or buy groceries. I made my decisions about where to go based on convenience.

This was true each time I needed to put gas in my car. I’d stop wherever was closest and had the best price.

Several weeks ago I stopped at a tiny gas station which is about 5 minutes from my house.  It’s in the opposite direction of the route I normally take when I go to work, but that day I happened to be near it so I stopped.

The gas station attendant comes over to me. He is a tiny little man, probably in his late sixties.   His is the weathered, wrinkled face of one who has lived a full life. When he comes up to my window, I smile and say good morning. He greets me back politely enough.  “I’ll have a fill up, regular please”, I say to him.  “No”, he replies, shaking his head solemnly.  I am a little taken aback wondering if maybe they’ve run out of gas. Before I can ask what he means, I realize that his face is transforming before my eyes.  He is breaking out in a smile of almost unbelievable brilliance.  His mouth turns upwards, moulding his cheeks into an obviously familiar pattern of creases and folds. As his cheeks reconfigure themselves, his eyes recede a little, yet they seem brighter. I suddenly understand what that often used phrase about twinkling eyes really means. He erupts into the most endearing giggle I’ve heard in a long time and I realize that he is just teasing me.

This is my first meeting with my friend Uri.

He proceeds to fill up my car, and while we wait he chats with me. He asks where I am from. Africa I tell him.  He tells me is from Turkey. There is a instant recognition of a connection there. We are both immigrants. He has a rich accent and he calls me honey.  He tells me all about his “baby”, a burgundy Mercedes which sits in the gas station garage. He has owned the car since it was brand new 23 years ago, and he tells me, that he has done every single bit of work it has ever needed with his own two hands. I  express my admiration for his skills and tell him how beautiful his baby is.  Someday, I say perhaps he can do some work on my car. He asks why my husband can’t do this work, to which I respond that I have no husband. He seems upset by this, how can a lovely girl like me have no husband. He shakes his head mournfully. This is not right. I must find a good husband.

I’m not there for long, it doesn’t take more than a 5 minutes to fill up my little car, but by the time I leave I have fallen in love with him.  I am charmed. When I drive away I feel a warm glow, the kind which comes from making an unexpected yet true connection with another human being. I am smiling hard and I feel happier than I did before I met him. “OK, bye bye honey. You have nice day” he says as I pull away.

I go back to fill up the following week, and our exchange is just as warm. Just as lovely. This time he goes to hand me back my credit card, and as I reach for it, he snatches his hand back. Again his faces melts into that amazing smile and he giggles. He loves to tease. As I prepare to leave he says “OK, bye bye honey, I see you next week. Because you come every week”. Now on days when I need to get gas, I go to Uri. I am willing to go out of my way to do so.

Sometimes I drive by and he is sitting on the bench in front of the gas station. I slow down and wave at him.  He always waves back enthusiastically and even though I can’t see his face I can feel him smiling at me.Â

This morning I went to fill up, and it occurred to me that  these moments,  brief as they may be, are such a gift to me.   Today, before I drove away, he grasped my hand warmly with his and  offered his usual farewall “OK  honey, bye bye, I see you next time. You have nice day”.  In that moment  I  felt truly loved.

As  I see it, Uri is not in the gas pumping business. He is in the business of loving people.   How amazing that I go to him to get gas, yet I leave there having experienced what feels like a truly divine connection. It’s the type of feeling that fills me with hope for humanity. In these moments I see that the only thing that matters is love.

Uri has made me a devoted customer. Even if  his  prices are higher than others, I will still go to him.

So maybe  loving people is the key to business success.